Saturday, April 24, 2010
Have you ever read Braindroppings by George Carlin? It’s a really funny book. Like, really funny. Anyway, there’s a section called “People Who Should be Phased Out” where Carlin lists people who, well, should be phased out. After yet another stressful week of wifing, mothering, and running errands while wifing and mothering, I have drawn inspiration from the late George Carlin and have compiled my own list of people who should be phased out:
♥ Any person who honks at the driver in front of him/her the second the stop light they are waiting on turns green.
♥ People who don’t use their turn signal until they are in the middle of their turn.
♥ David Archuleta fans.
♥ Random IGN fans who try to friend me on Facebook.
♥ Guys that have no facial hair other than a soul patch.
♥ Restaurant workers who speak little to no english. (Because, you know… there’s a HUGE difference between honey mustard sauce and ketchup.)
♥ People who don’t hold doors open for pregnant women. Or any women, for that matter.
♥ Straight men who sashay.
♥ People who wear jewelry that is much too big for their piercing(s).
♥ Women who use small dogs as fashion accessories. It’s not cute. Stop it.
♥ Straight men who have no facial hair other than a soul patch… and sashay.
♥ Americans who pronounce croissant “Kru-sahn.” (If you watch Chopped, refer to the episode where they use rattlesnake meat as a secret ingredient.)
♥ Guys who sweat buckets for no apparent reason.
♥ People who write lists about people who should be phased out.
Kill it with fire!!!