Thursday, May 27, 2010

If I Have to Explain LOST One More Time I am Going to Bludgeon Somebody

First thing’s first: If you have not seen the LOST finale, don’t read this. Massive spoilers lie ahead. If you have no problem with spoilers, then feel free to keep reading.

For the last six years, LOST has been an integral part of my nerdiness. I cannot tell you how many times I have fan-girled out over hidden references, dissected plot-threads, and threatened severe bodily harm to anyone who had the nerve to even consider calling me on the nights that I was watching it. Every time a season would end, a nasty bout of LOST withdrawal would kick in, and I would find myself hoping that the time between seasons would pass quickly so that I could resume watching my favourite fractured fairy tale (and get some goddamn answers!).

Now that LOST is over, I have the majority of my answers and I can honestly say that I am satisfied with how it ended. However, I do have one burning question:

Did anyone actually pay attention to what was going on throughout this show?

It has been less than a week since the finale aired, and I have found myself explaining plot elements that were solved long ago. I have read countless Facebook status updates, tweets, and comments on articles that ask some of the dumbest questions I have seen/heard since my stint in retail. If I had a nickel for every time I have said (or thought), “The Island was not Purgatory” I would have enough to cover at least one of my monthly bills by now. I just don’t get it. I know that people are dumb; this does not surprise me. I just didn’t think that people were THIS dumb. Especially not people who have watched every episode of the show. I mean, what is there not to get? The Numbers were explained. The Sideways world was explained. Richard Alpert’s eternal youth and amazing eyelashes were explained. Why do so many people still have so many questions? (And so many stupid ones, at that?) 

 He was totally born with it. (

Really, folks. It’s not rocket science. Everything that happened on the Island actually happened; it wasn’t made up, it wasn’t Purgatory. None of the main characters died in the crash of Oceanic  815. If you think otherwise, you’re dumb,  because  Christian plainly states that the time on the Island “…was the most important time of your lives.” Read that again. “Time of your lives.” Ben didn’t go into the church because  he still had some things that he had to come to peace with. He even said that he had some shit to work out. Pay attention! That final footage of the wreckage during the credits was just filler material – it was never meant as some final clue to go apeshit over. 

Seriously, it’s not that hard to grasp. So why are so many people acting like it is? And how the hell do they function in their day to day lives if they can’t even piece together a fucking television show?

 The End. Really. (

3 comments (+add yours?)

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

So Snape kills Dumbeldore?

Megan said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I haven't heard any of these questions/comments! Maybe I don't know as many LOST fans as you? Weird.

The big stuff was explained. Chris pointed out a few things that were brought up in prior seasons that just never really went anywhere, like how Aaron was supposed to be special, etc. But, I'm not too bothered with it.

I get having some lingering questions. The afterlife is a hard concept to grasp, so there's weird stuff. Like, why would baby Aaron be there? Clearly it wasn't the most important time of HIS life. Is he there for Claire as a baby, but also gets his own afterlife? One that's significant to the life he had AFTER he was an infant? You know what I mean?

But, not getting the basic concept is pretty dumb. I'm with ya'.

thelexhex said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I actually saw a comment on an article where somebody asked, "So, if Richard was dead before he came to the Island, why did he say that he wanted to live?"

Only, it was in much worse English and also said something about not understanding the significance of the gray hair. Also, it was attached to an article where the very first thing written was that the Island wasn't Purgatory.

Like, dude. Really?

(Oh, and I think baby Aaron was there b/c he was the center of a lot of Claire's issues in her life, and not because he was actually dead or anything.)

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