Dorkisms

Who caught the lunar eclipse last night? I got to see a little of it but it was too damn cold out to be standing in my driveway past midnight! Pretty cool though, right? (The eclipse, not my low tolerance for the cold.) Anyway, it’s Tuesday so that means it's time for (drum roll, please)…

Ta-Da!

• Oh, shit. Christmas is on Saturday, isn’t it. (Fuuuuuck…)
• I haven’t finished my Christmas cards yet. (Fuuuuuck…)
• You know that guy who wrote that book about pedophilia? I’m glad he was arrested and I hope he dies. Painfully. I am completely serious.
• The new Lonely Island single is out!! Have you seen the video or heard the song? It will change your life!

Society has clearly started advancing.

• I’m surprised that Munchkin is still alive. Why? Because the damn kid doesn’t eat. Midget hit this phase, too, but Midget was never a garbage disposal.
• My mum sent me an old lady cardigan from Victoria’s Secret. It smells of plastic and is definitely the frumpiest piece of clothing I own.
• When my mum told me that the package was from Victoria’s Secret, I felt the need to remind her of that time that I quit my job at VS after sitting through the six-hour training seminar.
• Goddamn, this sweater really smells of plastic.
• Midget and Munchkin have proclaimed that they like “Telephone” by Lady Gaga and Beyonce.
• The girls also like “I’m On A Boat,” by The Lonely Island and will start singing it when it comes on in the car. However, since they are obviously not allowed to use “grown-up words,” they really can’t (and don’t) sing along past the one-minute mark.
• Does anybody know who this creepy bitch co-hosting Attack of the Show is?! She’s like, this skinny little goth woman with a GIANT head and deep red lipstick. She’s gross.
• I could probably Google that last one, but I don’t really feel like it.
• I am seriously considering changing my Facebook profile pic to Strutting Leo. (Know your meme, folks!)

knowyourmeme.com Haters gonna hate.

Now that I have managed to either bore you or freak you out (or both) for the week, I am off to waste more time playing Zuma Blitz instead of doing something constructive – like wrapping presents or decoupaging the shit out of some stuff I picked up for the girls. Merry Christmas, folks~!