Monday, December 27, 2010

Worst Christmas gift ever

I don’t suppose many people spend Christmas searching their local sex offender registry and getting worked up into a murderous rage, but that’s precisely what I ended up doing this past Saturday. Don’t get me wrong – the morning was filled with much joy as the girls opened gift after gift and squealed in delight at the things that Santa brought them. There was the usual post-gift-exchange clean-up (you know, the one that seems to span infinite time and space because there’s so much paper and cardboard everywhere?) and phone calls to and from relatives to exchange best wishes and all that jazz. However, a run of the mill trip to the mailbox turned into something entirely unexpected because The Fates decided to piss in my cornflakes. Big time.


wikipedia.org
Now with 50% more piss!
First off, who checks their mail on Christmas Day? I only did it because it had been a few days and wanted to make sure there were no cards from friends or relatives that needed to be opened, etc. Anyway, I didn’t get any holiday cards – only some junk mail, a statement for our HOA dues (don’t most people buy houses to AVOID things like the HOA??), and a curious pamphlett from the Sheriff’s Department. I had actually dropped the pamphlett on the ground, and in my rush to pick it up before any left over rainwater soaked it through, the words “sex offender” immediately jumped out. Unfolding the paper revealed a shitty black and white photo and a notice that the man pictured lives a little ways down the road and is a Level 3 sex offender.

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous.

After the kids went to bed and things settled down, I ended up using my county’s sex offender registry to find out more about the creeper on the flyer but instead, I found a bigger reason to flip out. There are two other guys -- both Level 2 offenders -- living within the area. When I Googled WA state's criteria for how they classify these fucks, this is what I got:

Level 2 offenders have a moderate risk of re-offending. They generally have more than one victim and the abuse may be long term. These offenders usually groom their victims and may use threats to commit their crimes. These crimes may be predatory with the offender using a position of trust to commit their crimes. Typically these individuals do not appreciate the damage they have done to their victims.

Level 3 offenders are considered to have a high risk to re-offend. They usually have one or more victims and may have committed prior crimes of violence. They may not know their victim(s). The crime may show a manifest cruelty to the victim(s) and these offenders usually deny or minimize the crime. These offenders commonly have clear indications of a personality disorder. 

Reading through the profiles of each of the men made my skin crawl; Level 2 raped a drugged victim – a fourteen year old girl whose family considered him a close friend. Further read-through of the dossier revealed that prior to this, he was convicted in Cali for attempted rape of a drugged victim (so he came to WA and succeeded!?! GAH!!) and unlawful intercourse with a minor. Level 2 No.2 decided to touch a couple of his family members in places that should never be touched by any relative ever. Mister My-Face-Showed-Up-In-Your-Mailbox (Level 3) has molested several girls ranging in age from 5 – 15. 

roflposters.com
No explanation needed.
So, yeah, I’m pretty pissed. Livid, really. It’s bad enough that these vile creatures (they aren’t humans; people that like to fuck children are not human by any means) are even allowed out of prison to begin with, as they are repeat offenders and are likely to re-offend. Oh, and there’s an elementary school located two miles from my house, which is within two miles of where these things live, according to the registry. It’s like an all-you-can-eat buffet for them!! What the fuck?!? Really, what the fucking fuckity fuck?!? I don’t give a shit if these guys are currently being monitored by the local police department – they should not be anywhere near children!! And MY children!! And my HOUSE!! My perfect house (with the imperfect lawn) in this perfect little neighborhood with its tupperware parties and cigar-smoking gatherings!! Who in the shit let this happen?!?!

When Jeremy and I watched Kick-Ass for the first time, we marveled at Hit Girl.(Ooh, tangent!) The trailers and telly spots made her look incredibly annoying, but in the actual movie, she was a total badass, dismembering groups of grown men with assorted firearms and sharp, pointy things. At one point, we looked at each other and I don’t know who spoke first, but the conversation was short (and completely serious):

“We need to teach the girls how to do that.”

“Yeah…!”
ultramegacityborg.com
Too much?
We have always talked about putting the girls in some form of martial arts while they are still young, but now that I know about the monstrosities living down the road, I’m thinking that weapon and firearm training might be a good idea, too. I mean, you never know when shit’s going to get real.

Right?

6 comments (+add yours?)

Megan said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I thought there were laws prohibiting people like that from living near schools and stuff?

That's fucking ridiculous.

Kimber Leszczuk. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I would have reacted about the same as you. I frequently check the watchdog sites to see if we have any undesireables in our neighborhood to watch out for. I wish all pedophiles would ust get murdered in prison. OR Just give them the death penalty to start with. I thought it was illegal for offenders who have harmed minors to live so close to a school?

We loved that movie!! I told my husband I wanted to adopt her!! We are enrolling my daughter in martial arts too.

thelexhex said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

It's different for every state, the distance from schools, I mean, but it seems to be way too close for comfort like, everywhere. Out here it's something like no closer than 880 feet (0.16 miles.)

OMGWTF, right?

Doria said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

"fucking fuckity fuck" is exactly my words for this post also. It pisses me off to no end that they let those child molesting BASTARD PEICE OF SHIT MOFO'S out of jail. I don't understand why they just can't kill them all. Like for real. They deserve no second chance. Those CHILDREN dont get a second chance! Kill them all! Id be livid also and I totally agree on Hit Girl! She KICKS ARSE! That girl is awesome and Id totally go for putting my child through training like that because it was fucking RAWK!

Melissa B said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thats insanely rediculouse that those monsters are allowed to live that close to any school or kids period.. I really did think that there was a law that said they wasnt allowed to at all.. I mean I didnt even think they was allowed in places that kids could be in.. or something.. I dunno but thats fucking crazy!! Im pissed that they are allowed to be living that close to you guys!! thats just not right...

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

That's really scary! When I was younger I remember that there was a flasher in the school grounds next to our elementary school and a whole group of us kids (in grade 4 or something then) got really pissed off and we all took sticks and stuff and patrolled the area ourselves even though the teachers said not to go there. I'm sure if I got a chance I would have batted his nuts off.

You really need to have a talk with your children about self defense but also have a talk to them about just not trusting any adults more than your parents. EVER!

If I had kids and found that out, I'd be SO FUCKING PISSED.

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