Sunday, February 20, 2011
Jeremy has been sick for about a week now, as he has caught the Man Cold from Hades. There has been so much hacking and coughing, accompanied by many sleepless nights, alarmingly rapid tissue consumption, VapoRub, and chicken soup. It’s amazing how such a strong, capable man can be reduced to a sniffling heap in just a matter of hours and remain that way for days.
A dude gets sick, and holy hell, it’s an entirely different story. It’s just like that Nyquil (or is it Dayquil?) commercial that has been airing. Have you seen it? It features a sad looking bloke crumpled on the sofa, half sobbing that he can’t reach the remote – which is less than a foot away from him. His girl walks by and hands him the box of medicine. Obligatory disembodied voice declares that this particular drug "even works on the man cold." Cue next advertisement. Or, rather, this video, because it is uncannily accurate.
When it comes to the man cold NOTHING WORKS. Not even Dayquil. Or Nyquil. I bought a giant bottle of that shit a few days ago and the Man Cold from Hades is still here, still going strong (false advertising!!). My big, burly husband is a pile of body aches and phlegm, distressed because somehow, he is unable to reach that one spot under his shoulder blade that itches, even though his arms are the same length as they were before he became ill.