Monday, March 28, 2011
It has been somewhere around fifteen long years since our on-again off-again relationship began, and I feel that it is as toxic as ever. You forced your way into my life out of nowhere and you still refuse to leave. Sometimes you strike when I am so exhausted that I can’t even see straight (adding to said exhaustion). Sometimes you lull me into a false sense of security, allowing me to sleep peacefully for a couple of hours before I wake up to use the loo, only to discover you in my bed, making me uncomfortable and filling my head with trivial things that have no place in anybody's thought process at four in the morning.
Dude, this has gone on for too long. If you had a corporeal form I would stab you. Repeatedly. I would do horrible, horrible things to you as payback for the many hours (years?) of precious sleep that I have missed out on because of you. Sleep that is more important than ever now that I have children to take care of, a house to maintain, and roughly twenty hours of driving to do every week. I cannot adequately function on so little rest; I become cranky and lethargic. I just can’t have that, especially since nap time is fleeting.
Insomnia, I know that you and I are not done, and we are clearly in this for the long haul, but that does not stop me from wishing you the absolute worst (again, if you had a corporeal form). Why can’t you pester somebody that deserves the sleep deprivation, like any number of the disgusting assholes in the big, big world?
Sincerely wishing I could murder you,