Dorkisms

Goddamn – it’s Tuesday already!?

You know that RTT is Keely's brainchild, right? Good.

• OMFG, 90210 came back from mid-winter hiatus!! (Spoilers!) The CW is still doing that weird happy, bubbly episode preview thing; next week looks like some fun hijinks will ensue when the girls go to some sort of yoga retreat. On the flip side, I just finished watching Naomi tie her rapist to a chair and beat his ass before having to be talked out of stabbing him in the throat. Sure, he had it coming, but where in the shit is the transition between this and happy yoga fun tiemz??
• I discovered Dave Chappelle’s Twitter feed and it is seriously one of the best things since the advent of modern plumbing. (Turns out this is not the real Dave Chappelle, which is lame. Still pretty funny, though.)

Why does this look so blurry?

• Wizard magazine was shut down yesterday. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself.
• Okay, so, yesterday my windshield was struck by an unknown bit of debris as I drove down the 405. Naturally, I flipped my shit b/c the last time this happened (which was in June or July, and also on the same stretch of the 405, wtf?), I had to have the whole windshield replaced. I lucked out this time, though, and got away with some very slight rock-chip damage that didn’t even need to be filled.
• That last bit becomes infinitely more interesting when I mention the angry-ass Chinese man that worked at the local Speedy Glass. I called them twice (I forgot to ask how long rock-chip repair takes first time around) and this bloke answered both times. First time around, he abruptly cut me off and then transferred me to the nice bloke that works there. The second time around, I wasn't so lucky; instead of transferring me or answering my question straight-away, his response was, "Didn't you just call here? Like, ten minutes ago?" 
• What a dick, right?! I got there, and I saw him sitting in the back room when I arrived. The other guys were outside in the work area; instead of responding to my greeting he gave me a dirty look and knocked on the window to let his co-workers know that they had a customer. I flat out told them that their buddy was a dick, which they laughed at. I was told he was having a bad day; fuck that shit. I’m an asshole – I know this, I get it. But even on my bad days I will still be polite and courteous, and I will wear a goddamn smile if the situation calls for it.
• I need to stop including full-on novels in RTT posts.
• Jeremy and I finally took the girls to see Tangled over the weekend. It was Munchkin’s first trip to the theatre, so she was all hella excited. It was pretty rad.
• At the movies, Jeremy was lucky enough to sit next to a group of teenagers that included a girl that couldn't follow the story (her friend had to keep explaining what was going on) and a bloke who thought he was too cool to be there; apparently he would get all huffy whenever somebody sang a song.
• One of the most horrifying things I have ever seen: Twilight Sweethearts – particularly the box that features only a sinister looking RPatz against a black void. It looks more like a box of ruffies than a box of candy.

4 oz. of date rape.

• You know those sticks that have a plush horse’s head attached at one end? I fucking hate those things -- there is so much potential for disaster! Naturally, Midget now has one.

Okay, this bit sounded a lot more complain-y that usual, didn’t it? That blows, especially when there are so many people with more legitimate problems out there. And here I am complaining about a toy horse and some asshole at a glass-repair joint! On that note, I’m going to do some serious self-eval and hope that when next Tuesday comes I won’t sound like such an ass! Wish me luck?

In light of yesterday’s mammoth post, I honestly wasn’t sure that I would do RTT this week. But then this morning happened, giving rise to a whole slew of bullet points that begged to be pushed live. So, without further ado, I present:

Check out Keely today -- the octopus chair demands it.

• Midget had the flu last week, and it SUCKED HARD (it was a strain that wasn’t in the vaccine). At the same time she was sick, my newly three-year-old nephew was hospitalized due to Kawasaki Disease. Not a good week for either Dunham household.

• Thankfully, both kids are on the mend and doing great. Midget even has her ten-years-too-soon attitude problem going full force! 

• To be honest, I kind of liked her better when she was sick. She was so much more agreeable...

• I am totally aware that that made me sound like an asshole, but I like to keep shit real, son.

• Every time I geek out about movies or games on my blog I get, like, 0 comments and page views. I thought it was cool to be out of the dorky closet now?

• I really, really wish that Squeenix would release a version of FFVI that has a perfect translation (100% faithful beats the shit out of 75% any day…) and zero censorship. In this day and age, there are much worse things being depicted in all forms of media than a 16-bit representation of somebody being chained to a prison cell wall.

L: Original and PSX releases; R: GBA re-release

• So, this morning I was passed HELLA FAST in a 35 by a car that had a sticker for the local religious station on its rear window and a license plate frame that read “Jesus for life!” Somehow, I don’t think that Jesus wants his followers driving like psychopaths.

• Munchkin is finally tall enough to open doors, and this is posing an interesting problem when butt-thirty AM arrives, because she will walk out of her room. I put up a baby gate but now she climbs over it. I raised the gate ever so slightly and now she shimmies her way under it.

• Clearly I need to think waaaaaaaaaaaay outside of the proverbial box.

• I think one of my BFFs has lost her goddamn mind. If she didn’t live all the way on the other end of the continent I would sit her down and tell her how stupid she’s being.

• I’m at the age now where having a filter doesn’t seem like it’s all that beneficial anymore.

• I’m also at the age where I need to start looking for a good firming lotion – a preemptive move, if you will.

• Last night, I randomly recalled a conversation Jeremy and I were having about a character from Chrono Trigger having the worst name ever. I stated laughing so hard that I questioned my sanity.

• I told Jeremy about this during our commute and nearly died because, once again, I could not stop laughing. He’s right, though – Marle’s not a name. It’s a sound.

• I’ve been on a pretty major Black Eyed Peas kick lately, and as a result “My Humps” has been stuck in my head for days.

• I am really, really stoked for Marvel vs. Capcom 3’s release next month (Feb. 15th). The addition of Phoenix/ Dark Phoenix raised the nerdgasm bar by about a thousand percent.

Yes, please.

• No, really. I don’t need an elaborate Valentine’s dinner or a box of truffles. I will be cool with practicing 36 hit Ultra Combos and unlocking Achievements.

• I love me some Batman, but I think eighteen monthly Batman titles is excessive as fuck. DC needs to scale that shit back some.

• I feel somehow wrong for using a bottle of Mensroom Original Red to slow-cook corned beef, but it was the only beer left. I really would have preferred to drink it.

• Shirtless Kirk is seriously the best smelling cologne, like, ever.

• I should really be napping right now.

Amazon.com Don't let this packaging fool you!!

Remember: Keely = Rad. Check her out.

• No odd run-ins with total strangers since last post! Yay!
• I went off of wellbutrin cold turkey. It’s been almost a week, and so far, so good.
• I’m still mystified by how bad the drivers here in WA are. People here actually think it’s okay to make a left turn on red!! 
• I read an article on IGN that really pissed me off. It’s called “Brining a Bikini to a Sword Fight” and it is about how there are no strong female characters in games. I reckon the author wrote it to win favour with the ladies. The author is so full of shit that I can’t even… gah! Hate-filled rant elaborating on all of this will probably go up later this week.
• Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon reminds me of a giant Nagi.

Twins.

• I hate it when Jeremy works late. 
• Evidently, the girls hate it, too.
• Nearly took the top of my left index finger off with a vegetable peeler yesterday. In case you were wondering, that shit fucking HURT.
• Magic Erasers are probably one of the greatest inventions ever.
• My sketchbook is still collecting dust. It is just collecting dust in a far more visible location.

It’s Friday night, everybody is in bed, and I am sitting alone in my living room, listening to music with my dusty and neglected sketchbook immediately to my left. I have a bag of various pencils, erasers, and blending sticks off to my right (alongside a can of Mountain Dew). Oh, and all around me? A horrible, creeping feeling of failure mixed with some "What the hell happened?" for good measure.

You see, growing up, drawing was my “thing.” I was always told that I was “talented” or that I “could go somewhere” when it came to my "art" (I am using the term VERY loosely here). I drew every single day for years. I remember this one time when I flipped my shit upon realizing that I had run out of paper, and I insisted that my dad take me to the local Wal-Mart rightfuckingthen so I could buy more and continue on with my arthritis-inducing hobby. (Don’t look like that -- we were already in the car and it was on the way!) I had always said that my goal was to one day have my artwork grace the cover of Wizard magazine at least once, and to laugh at everyone who ever said I would fail, or that my art was nothing but “stupid cartoons” when I finally made it big in the comics world.

As you know, things change. We get older, become more realistic, and have to dedicate pretty much every waking hour to taking care of the things necessary for our survival (or the survival of others). My drawing became less and less of my “thing." I got a job. I got a boyfriend (who would later become my husband and the father of mah kidz). I got busy. Despite all of these things, I still had a desire to sit down and draw, and when I had a moment, I would try to pull something out of thin air the way I had once been able to – to no avail. Somewhere along the line, I realized that my work would never be “good enough,” and I became jaded as fuck. I would see the artwork of others and, instead of feeling inspired, I would wonder how and why my stupid cartoons were nowhere near the level of these younger, more talented people despite the years and years I had dedicated to honing my skills. 

zazzle.com You wouldn't burn this either, would you?

And, so, here I am, with my sketchbook by my side and an intense desire to burn it in a blaze of glory. Or un-glory, rather. Honestly, the only thing keeping me from doing so is the bomb-ass Sirius Black wanted poster sticker plastered front and center. Even though I have felt that familiar spark of wanting/needing to draw something over the last few days, I haven’t been able to produce a goddamn thing. Before this, the last time I actually sat down to draw something was sometime last January – a shitty fan art of FFVI’s Tina Branford (if you have been following this blog, then you should know by now that I will rampantly fangirl over Final Fantasy VI until the day I DIE, okay?), along with some random reference sketches of Munchkin, and… 

… a box of tissue. 

So a full year has gone by without me drawing anything, and I honestly don’t know if I could feel any worse. This "major" part of me has atrophied and is more than likely broken beyond repair. The things that I once felt proud of look absolutely appalling to me now, triggering a massive brain-spasm that involves remedial tutorials of anatomy, geometry, a lot of swearing that is both internal and external, a little pyromania, and which lead is darkest (it’s 6B, by the way…).

Clearly that whole Wizard magazine and gloating thing is never going to happen.

I think that my intro is supposed to have some sort of “hey, it’s 2011!!” spin to it this week, but I’m not really feeling it. Regardless of whether it’s 2010 or 2011, it’s still Tuesday.

Visit Keely. She's rad.

• We got hit with some more snow last week, which really sucked. 

• Oddly enough, I am the only person in the neighborhood who shoveled their goddamn driveway. 

• If you know what I look like, then you know that the mental image of me going to town with a giant-ass snow shovel is just… weird. 

• There were two ladies walking laps as I worked on the driveway; one of which was wearing her baby on her back. (Remember what I said previously?) Anyway, Midget has this little doll that wears a sweater and a mini skirt, and she was playing with her in the snow. On the second pass near our house, she happily proclaimed that her doll was a snow girl to the women (first pass was all saccharine greetings). Anyway, as they walked away, I overheard one say to the other “In a mini skirt?” with the sort of wtf tone you give somebody who claims they shot el chupacabra in their yard. I held my tongue, but I really, really wanted to shout, “SHE’S FOUR, ASSHOLE!” 

• I know that was really long-winded, but I had to share. 

• I finally got a haircut, but once again, my fringe was brutalized. I reckon it’s time to stop going to the nearest Great Clips and find an actual hairdresser. 

• As this woman bullied my hair, she asked me if Midget was part Mexican (specifically, if her father was Mexican). It was so random and sudden that I didn't even think to tell her that I'm Puerto Rican. What does it matter anyway, right? BTW, Midget looks very much like her dad -- white.

If this is not fair skin than I don't know what is.

• Forgive me, but… Why is it that every Great Clips ever employs surly, heavily-accented Asian women? Surely I’m not the only one who has noticed this? 

• I’m confident that that last thought will be taken the wrong way by somebody somewhere. 

• Whatever. 

• Yesterday at the grocery, this super frail old woman came up to me and asked me very quietly, “Are you a Christian?” I told her that I wasn’t, and she was like, “Oh.” Less than a second later, Munchkin looked directly at her and said, “Bad guy! Bad guy, Mommy! Bad guy!!” The whole thing was just fucking weird. 

http://stream.ademagnaye.com WORD.