Wednesday, December 12, 2012


If you follow myself and/or @DunhamSmash on Twitter, you already know that he conquered his cancer via a partial thyroidectomy – and possibly a mutant healing factor – at the end of October. The weeks leading up to the surgery were hard: Jeremy wasn’t feeling well (obviously), the kids were being exceptionally bratty, and everyone was telling me things like, “Don’t be alone,” or “Stay strong,” which would totally make me break down during quiet moments because it was all quite touching, but also slightly frustrating since the ultimate outcome had been a massive unknown.

The surgery was rather straightforward: A two-inch incision was made in Jeremy’s neck, directly over his thyroid gland, and the left half – along with his tumor – was removed. He was appropriately stitched up and sent home the same day, sporting some sleepy stoner eyes and a really creepy (yet simple) apparatus that consisted of a fine tube that drained from his neck (via a big-ass needle) to a vacutainer that was placed into a protective plastic case that was clipped onto his shirt. The vacutainer had to be changed out once the drainage reached a certain point, and we had to save the vials for his follow-up appointment the next day.

So, I need to take a second to talk about changing out those tubes because it was nerve wracking as all fuck. The first and only time I attempted it, the suction of the protective case went POP! and the vacutainer came screaming out of it, like, “MUTHAFUCKAAAAA!!!!!” I was so scared that I had just ripped the giant needle straight out of my husband’s throat – you have no idea. I mean, how horrifying would that have been?? Needless to say, he handled the changing duties from then out, despite being in a bit of a drugged stupor. Thankfully it came out the next day.

Anyway, the recovery process has consisted of a lot of rest and a lot of Borderlands 2. Just under two months later, and Jeremy is still feeling a bit “blegh” – as most people tend to do after having had major surgery, healing factor or not – but the fact that he’s here to feel all “blegh” in the first place is just…

I don’t really have the words for it. I’m just really, truly glad that he made it through all of it.