Wednesday, November 6, 2013

More like "Wordy" Wednesday because of that one time I freaked out over a bottle of tequila

This was originally going to be a quick, Wordless Wednesday post (to reinforce that I'm not dead), but then I decided that it probably wouldn't make a lot of sense since Poltergeist II came out so long ago, and a lot of people probably haven't seen it or have, but just don't remember it very well because their psyches just created blocks to suppress that shit because of how fucked up it was. Also, that was a really long sentence. Nevertheless, what you see above is the tequila worm from Poltergeist II, the second in a trilogy of movies that seriously fucked me up as a child. Because, for some reason, my parents, with their infinite wisdom, showed me all three films before I was even six. (I also saw Nightmare on Elm Street when I was three. I was unable to sleep in my own bed for years after that. YEARS.)

Anyway, I was thinking that comparing the horrible things I'm coughing up from my ongoing bout with Man Flu to the above worm would be humorous on some level -- but then I remembered the actual film, which was TERRIFYING, followed by the time that my dad took a business trip to Mexico around the same time I saw the movie. He came back with a bottle of tequila that had a worm swimming around in it and I




There was screaming, and crying, and I was absolutely convinced that my dad was going to swallow the worm and vomit it back up, and then it would crawl around the apartment and... I don't even know what! BUT IT WOULD! It would slither around all over the place! It would be slimy, and sickly, and how could these adults be so shockingly cavalier about the situation my dad just put us in?!? I'm pretty sure they thought that it was funny, or cute, or frustrating, or a mixture of the three because, let's face it, sometimes little kid freak outs can be inappropriately comical. Regardless, I woke up the next morning and there was the bottle on the counter -- but the worm was gone. I spent my day on the brink of tears, unwilling to walk around by myself, on the lookout for any possessed, human-sized worm creatures hanging out around the apartment.

After years of not seeing any of Poltergeist's monsters, the tequila worm has elicited a knee-jerk, DAFUQ?! reaction that brings me to the conclusion that attempting to watch any of the Poltergeist flicks will result in possible crying and an absolute need for sedatives.

Thanks, mom and dad.

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